Posted by: Pam Sorooshian | March 1, 2009

What to blog about #6

Why I was a childhood bully.

I can’t blog about this as I’m sure I never was a bully. Far from it. I was a happy-go-lucky life-loving little kid and became very shy and timid just around puberty. I remember being aware that there were kids who were bullied and I remember feeling bad for them and sometimes befriending them. I was a little afraid of a couple of girls who were loud and tough – I was afraid of them saying things I didn’t understand and embarrassing me. One of them wrote, “You are bitchen,” in my end-of-year autograph book and I hid it from my parents because I was embarrassed that someone had written a bad word in my book. This was in 1963 and I was 11 years old. I wasn’t sure if it meant something good or bad.

There were LOTS of things I wasn’t sure about, lots of times people talked about things and I nodded and smiled and pretended to understand. I most often felt bewildered and confused and short of information. I almost always felt like other kids had some insider’s knowledge that I wasn’t privy to.

Teachers and other adults seemed to think I knew everything and that I was competent and capable, but I lived in fear that they’d discover how wrong they were.

I didn’t feel bullied and I think I was actually pretty well-liked by most kids and adults. I certainly didn’t bully anybody.

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Responses

  1. This is great. Every word of it could have been written about MY childhood experience. I think there were probably lots of us out there.

  2. I loved how you hid your autograph book so your mom wouldn’t see the word “bitchen”. 🙂

    Maybe I should write about my experiences being bullied, and being the bully…

  3. I don’t approve of bullying either. Did you here how two normal kids hung themeselves because of bullying. If you search it on google there will be many hits. Heres my blogs: jetsgrl105.wordpress.com and jetsgrl105.blog.com and be sure to comment!


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